So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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