His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
