I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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