the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
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Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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