I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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