I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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