just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
