you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize