now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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