Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize