i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize