I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is Oprah even human
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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