She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
