Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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