I'm going to rape someone's good day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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