Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize