Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I AM VODKA MAN
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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