Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
