guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
