I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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