I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
