he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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