TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
