I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
