Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my being single is dangerous.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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