My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
