Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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