btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
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You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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