i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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