how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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