I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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