these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
