I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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