just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
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I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".