You made me cry and you don't even care
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
