I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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