i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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