Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
