The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
