They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
