You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
