You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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