how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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