So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
