so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
