my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
