ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
