Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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