ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
