peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize