PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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