so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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