Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
