my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.