There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.