did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
North Korea, Best Korea!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first