so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
