i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old